A gift to myself

Its 4.30 am and an itch to write.

To reflect on life, to feel its essence and what flavours I really like.

Life was beautiful as far as I remember, with childhood birthday celebrations and feelings which made me feel special

Abba always captured my smile in his camera and milestoned my every little progress

My first teeth, my first baby step all stand now as a reminder of how I was loved and cared.

I had gifts like every child has its own, to emote, to dance, to narrate and write.

As days grew by and the norms set in, I forgot how loved I was and how special I felt.

Each day was a competition to get approval, each day became a struggle to beat the rest.

Slowly and steadily I became an expert in this game and started to live a life by what other’s claimed.

This went on for years, where the gifts just beat the dust deep inside of me.

I pulled up a cover and began to shine and polish which was never me.

As one day I realised, I was a fake diamond. A diamond which had forgotten its own beauty and now wanted to shine like other fake diamonds.

That’s the day I realised why life lacked lustre, it was my own light which had gone dim and needed duster.

I made a choice to the get my gifts back, to reflect on life and claim me back.

Like every journey begins with a single step, I have definitely taken the step within.

Since then life has become so spacious, the inner child in me has taken a breather

The gifts are back and I love the new me who now remembers how loved she was and will always will be.

And as I reflect on my life on this special day, would not change a thing which made me love and care.

The greatest joy is when gifts are shared and this expression is my gift to be loved and cared.

If you want to return a gift my dear friends, it’s just a leap away to check within

And when you find your gift ready to shine, I will be ready again to share mine.