Viewing the opinionated world through my ten year old sunglasses !!

Few days back I realised that the sunglasses I have been wearing have been with me for the past 10 years. I had bought them just before my trip to doha and its been 10 yrs for trip to doha and that is how realisation dawned on me !!... I started making judgements about me. I do preserve things. I value money . I am a responsible person and so on... And then I realised that there are other instances in my life which disprove all of the judgements I just made about my self. I thought let me test my judgements with my friends and family. and so I posted on whats app groups and social media. And to my surprise I got even more amazing judgements and opinions not just about me but what I should doing about it.

judgements about me : borderline OCD , responsible by birth , old fashioned , minimalist, I stay indoors don't venture out in the sun

doubts /further Analysis : how many sunglasses do I own ? how much time were these in the closet as they look new

advice : sell it on olx , give it to charity , good advertisement for polaroid , time to upgrade my fashion sense, keep it for another 10 years and they become antique

comparison : You are responsible but I am not.

Social Media instigates others to 'React' . Form opinions and Judgements quickly about a person or an event. 'Like' , 'Love' , 'Comment' are all opinions. 

When I was growing up the connect was with classmates, locality friends, cousins ,teachers etc and their opinions and judgements have shaped me in my growing years. Now through social media not only am I friend's friend but also I am connected with most of the people I ever met in life. And they will 'comment' , pass a judgement on my statements. So the volume of opinions and judgements has just amplified in my life.

So how in this crazy opinion obsessed new world do I see myself and accept myself ? 

I feel this calls for a case for self-awareness. I realised that because I know myself and have spent a good amount of time on self-reflection I can choose to let the opinions and judgement affect me, If I see value in what the person is saying I will choose to learn from it. Now a days I choose to provide an opinion or a judgement only when asked for. Sometimes with close friends I take the liberty but give the choice to my friends to listen or not.This choice  has developed over a period of time with practice and awareness of my thoughts and other people's thoughts.

I wish the practice of self-awareness and contemplative practices are taught in school so that we become more aware of our own actions and act only when needed.

With the statement of my sunglasses being 10 year old , I got so many opinions , judgements and advice which I never asked for. I feel if I live and speak from self awareness then I will not hurt another with my opinions and judgement and will not be hurt by others opinions about me and there will be a silence where we all see each other as we are.There will be peace !!.

This reminds me of Rumi's quote which is a befitting ending to this post.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing  and right doing there is a field.I'll meet you there.”

I am willing to meet you there . Are you ?

My Lost found wonder

I had a childhood friend named wonder

We marvelled at things for hours together

We gazed at the star filled sky all night and watched the leaves flutter and butterflies fly in broad daylight

We named the clouds as they took shape and danced in the rain till the paper boats drained

The rainbows sprinkled the colours of life as we watched the puddles form from rain’s delight

Then the day came for me to be more civil

I was asked to leave wonder and step inside

I listened obediently and responsibly stepped inside

I stepped inside a box and tried to fit in somehow

I learnt what they taught and I followed the books they brought

Opinions and judgement became my new found friends

Facts and figures became the dearest of the lot

And I completely lost myself in the noise of these loud proud friends

Life became a drag and joy lost its way to me and I became the unknown face in my own mirror

Then one fine day a search began

A search began to find me back

I searched within to find my way home and took paths which I had never treaded before

I walked and walked across countries, across cultures, across experiences

And reached the depths of grief and the lows of sorrow

Drowned and swayed, found and lost, I slowly drifted away from the noise of the crowd

The voices of opinions and judgements faded away and now I do not hear them a lot

The silence became my home for a while, where I slept and rested from the tiredness of wandering all about

From the silence of my home came a knock on the door one day

I opened the door and there I saw my friend wonder stretching its arm and asking me to play and ponder once again

From my silent home I listened now loud and clear to my friend whisperings and signing in my ears

Together we took the paths which we never treaded before

Reached the depths of awe and highs of new unknowns

Joy is back and so is fun in voice and eyes shine with the new potential of life

And heart beats its choice as I cherish both within and outside spaces with wonder

Wonder stays with me now in my silent new home

And once in a while we step outside to write a poem, sing a song or dance together, or just lay still and marvel at nature.